Just when you feel your all alone, Life stands next to you & shows that its all you need

Some nights when I'm alone and the day has gone all wrong, I close my eyes and let the tears build up. I release them when no one is looking and a hard cry is all that comes out. I keep it together & strength is what people see in me. They don't know how much I breakdown inside but its not there fault for, breaking down is a self inflicted pain that cant be fixed by anyone other then me, Life knows what its doing. It purposely keeps me away from playing victim. I was made to handle this lonely ride even though lonely is an unfair choice of word, I cry & cry but then sure enough something grabs my attention each time reminding me how beautiful life really is & that pain i felt is only a cut caused by influences around me. I close my eyes and feel the energy surrounding me & at that moment all the bad just seems so small. I break down too, But life always knows exactly how to pick me right back up, wipe my tears & keep me fighting to spread its purpose. Lonely only has meaning if we allow it too. Next time you breakdown, open yourself to the world picking you back up, It always does, we just don't value it enough to see it.

Death does not end your story, Forgetting Life does!

With every new life born, one is taken away. The new life is celebrated while the loss life is mourned. What a vicious cycle we have trapped ourselves in, When allowing one to be good & the other to be bad. Yes, Death sucks but its part of life, it comes with the title of being human. As I try to point out in most of my blogs, Life keeps going whether we are ready for it or not. I have seen many deaths in my career and tried as hard as I could to stop this inevitable event. ER was a great show but far from reality, I can count on one hand how many people I have "saved" at the time & 0 people who have actually lived long enough  to see the outside of a hospital.  What I couldnt stop asking myself each time I performed CPR on someone's 90 year old grandma is whats the point ? Hear me out I'm not heartless, I promise. The truth is grandma is 90 years old and is probably ready to die, I mean the lady lived a long life, Why am I pounding on her chest dumping drugs in her body & exposing her to being a show for neighbors & strangers to watch, when the outcome is probably one that will not turn out so good. Of course its always the family pushing to save her but in my years of being in this field I must say its probably one of the most selfish acts humans do. It drives me insane to see people on life support or stuck to a bed their whole life & the family cant let them go because they are not ready to accept it. Ask yourself, if a machine was breathing for you & You had no ability to do anything for yourself but lay in a bed and crap in your diaper, would you want to be kept alive ? Death is never going away, why are letting it destroy us before it knocks at our door ?

Life is simple, we are born then we die. Enjoy life now! Love those who love you & forget the emotional attachments we hold onto. Let people live however they want to whether you agree or not. Embrace them for who they are, their mistakes, accomplishments, & indivduality. Do not waste your time on the stuff they did wrong & what you did right, does it really matter? Do the things you want to do, even if that means being a little selfish, in the end our story is the only one we get to own. Live to be free, not for people, status, material objects, or anything at all. How can you be happy that way, when there is no secure thing that brings you happiness? Well think about it, happiness is no longer limited. The happiness is all around you everyday, as long as you look past your comfort zone.

People die & one day you will too. The only ones who can say they would like their families to stop their lives after its our time to go, are the one who cant share their own story because they have not started living yet. Your story is not your struggles or how hard you worked to move on in life, in fact your story is not even about you. A character in the story of life is who we are & the chapters are the survivors that make it long enough to learn how to create a new chapter. How do you want your story? The story of many chapters, settings, experiences & foreshadowing, that end up becoming a series, Or a story with one chapter, one character & one ending.

There's always an ending, Why waste the pages by skipping to the last page? 


Life is your author, You are the main character, The journey along the way is your Table of contents, & Death is your Publisher ~Evelyn Martinez~

Judgment : We are destroying eachother and our exsistince

Judgment, what a powerful word that has taken Lives, Dreams, Innocence, & Hope. We worry about donating money to charities or traveling to other countries to volunteer our time & the sad part is we really believe we make a difference by materialistic value when thousands of people are right outside our front door suffering the greatest suffering of all, Human acceptance. What, did you not know the fear of those around you, of living with pain from the rejection of society? The pain of a child who cried after school each day for not looking like what society considers normal, The devastation of "mentally ill" people who wish they knew how to accept treatment without feeling like they are an outcast of this world. How about all the lives that can not stand to be around us anymore, they rather Take their own life then live with such intolerable pain caused by our opinions and judgment, Which has silently destroyed them as we ignore, until it makes the headlines of the news. That's right, We don't stop to stand up for what it is right unless society shows approval, then we run to the rescue of a dead child that had to hang himself in order to get someone to notice. Then we protest, make campaigns, donate & start foundations for a couple days until we get bored or feel we have "donated" enough of our time or money. Lets not forget the money we are donating to the lower class because they need funding and assistance, while the hardworking Americans go to work everyday, make just enough money to put food on the table and pay their bills each month but are told they make to much money to qualify for financial assistance while their kids cant afford clothes society has made acceptable that month. How do we explain that to our kids? That they should not hate their parents for the cruelty of the other kids because their parents go to work everyday in order to support them, even though some months don't always put a descent meal on the table, the government wont provide assistance unless they stop working and do not make anything of themselves. Those are the only people who deserve help and having enough to survive by the sacrifice of your parents, is all you will ever know.


Not enough to open your eyes to our destruction? Lets keeping going then, the confusion and frustration of our generation who belong to religious group and are banned from thinking for themselves and raising them to close off their minds to everyone who might give them something to spark their curiosity. Of course, the amount of different religions out in this world today must really prove how right the theory of only one religion is, and limiting the life of another human beings in the beautiful country of America the Free, is the true messages we seem to be so stupid to acknowledge. Lets keep hating religions and people with different beliefs because a book that no one knows where it really came from says so.

The destruction of this world is not because God is punishing us, Wake up, Take responsibility for your actions. Stop limiting people from living life the way it was intended, You do not know and holding on to opinions whether society, religious or political, is destroying humanity. Show kindness and compassion to those around you, break the circle for once. Who cares if they are still living the life they were living, at that point there is no specific way of living so the pressure of judging is non exsistint. What are we fearing? the creation of humanity working together & comming up with something bigger then we ever have imagined. Something that might have been kept from us without us knowing? What a failure to those brilliant minds who discovered the beauty of this world is far more then we are allowing it to be. People have discovered electricity, cars, & Technology we never could've imagined and we are sitting here killing each other because of the ignorance of our false reality. Survival is not religion, status, your clothes, or your most valued possessions. Humans have proven evolution through history, since when did we decide to end the story with us? Who said extinction was only possible in every other creature but us. Remember populating does not guarantee survival. Open your eyes, how easy is it to maintain a family in today's world anyway? 

Love me for my journey for I stand next to you, not behind!

Why do you feel the need to change who I am?

Is it because you cannot understand that my scars are my story.

My scars are worn with pride for I have survived.

What you see as pain are lessons I have learned.

I do not feel the same way you do or share the same emotions,

But do not make me feel like there is something wrong with me.

I admire the beauty of the life you were given but it’s not my path to walk on.

I do not hold value to your reality for it is yours.

I am ok with my path and do not need to be saved.

I feel bad for you that you cannot embrace our differences,

You see a broken girl who needs fixing for you would have broken with one day in my shoes

I am not stronger then you for we are both of the same kind.

What I am is privileged to have been broken, for I have learned to not value what you allow to break you.

Do not take away my individuality to fulfill your insecurities.

I do not have what you do, but I do not need it as much. 

I am not selfish like you say, I am self-reliant. 

You cannot take care of what I have already taken care of,

If I accept your help do not think you control me

I will not be a victim to your insecurities; do not become another scar to be told.

I love who I am, I worked hard to stand on my own two feet even if in your eyes I have nothing.

Love me for my journey for I stand next to you, not behind           

The reaction you get is not bitter; it’s my 0 tolerance for a limited life

I was meant to see the world for what it is, I will not be limited to your reality.

Your emotions are your ignorance; your ignorance is not appealing to me.

Release your opinions or release me

The ones who are left standing have adapted to life, Keep up or you will be left.

You break easy and you dare say I’m the one who needs saving?

Release Blame & Embrace Self Compassion

Its easy to blame others for things they did not do or could have done better. Many of us who grew up in unstable homes or abusive ones, suffer a lot of damage that follows us into our adult years. We are confused and angry leaving us in a destructive circle. Some of us blame others and live life wondering what if, and searching for what was taken away from us while others, Act like they are fine allowing their relationships in life to effect them without knowing why. Whether you have been throwing a pity party or living with ignorance, the circle still keeps us trapped in confusion. We have good days and then we have really bad days. The world misinterprets us and we shelter ourselves even more, when the only thing we are doing is not allowing ourselves to live freely.

The pain we feel from our prior experinces can be to much to handle. Self compassion is the only thing that can break us from whatever is holding us back not self pity. The difference is self compassion is understanding what was taken away from us or not nurtured in our developmental years. Self pity does this but keeps us feeling bad and trapped. Self compassion allows us to understand them and take back responsibility from those who were responsible but failed in their role. Its to acknowledge this without placing blame. We do not know why they failed their responisibilities and to try and figure it out leads to dissapointment. Its not our place to worry about others actions even if we are just trying to look for closure. The reality is sometimes they do not even know themselves the answers to these questions. Searching for what we missed out in others, not only puts pressure on people who enter our lives but keeps us feeling empty inside. The emptiness is not what we are missing its a feeling of not knowing who we are and trying to find it in others.

At the end of the day we can only hold responsible our actions since its the only ones we have control over. When you release trying to hold others to their mistakes it let us take back our life and the possibilities are endless. At that point you become your own parent, teacher, and friend. You have the power to continue your life the way you want it. Even when abandonment or trauma have been part of your story, you still can get through that and live the way you deserve. The world is not responsible for what has happened to us and will not understand us. It will give us the beauty it has to offer only, whether we choose to live and enjoy it is on us.


Evelyn Martinez
Life Coach

Dear, Little one

Dear little one, 
                 I know I haven't paid much attention to you, Its been a rough time in this cruel adult world. I had to protect us and make sure you were OK. I must tell you little one I am not OK despite my victories. I did not cry, hurt, or give up, I took my emotions and told them they weren't welcomed. I did not know they were you trying to remind me you were still there. I know I dismissed you but you still were not strong enough to understand this life. I forget you are there sometimes and don't see how much you are hurting since i have leaned how to survive and ignoring you was the only way i could. 
no one taught you how to deal with disappointments, tragedies, and loss. I left you because

The truth about Success & Failure

Following your passion is a phrase that has been around for ever, but has it been a cliche? How many people really follow there true passions? Its very likely that many people tend to settle for a career that is secure. What happens to people who do not fulfill their destiny is self destruction. Think about the doctors, lawyers, and other careers that are considered successful today, Why are some a lot more successful in their profession then others ? The answer we are given is one that i feel is part of the false reality we are enslaved to. If you are not successful at what you do, its because you are not trying hard enough. What a demeaning piece of advice that statement is and an over rated one at that. News flash guys if that was really true, it would have worked by now. Now is their a different side of this statement that is absolutely true, well of course. A successful person didn't make this up for the pleasure of watching us fail like a bunch of morons, OK, maybe but what has really seemed to happen throughout the years is the perception of the meaning behind the words, were based on the success leaving out the importance of the passion( No, "he is successful because he had passion to succeed", is not the answer to that question and if that crossed your mind, thank you for adding to our ignorance, don't worry I did to once, Im allowed to make fun of you :).). We took the answer and forgot to include the whole picture as well.

Lets break it down in a way we can finally embrace the true meaning of what was intended.

Without being an elegant woman, Men will always suck !!!!!

The meaning of being a woman has changed into something that really does not symbolize the beauty of a woman at all. Its incredible the progress that women have achieved throughout history, Women have shown how strong and driven they could be. While women are capable of much more then child bearing and playing Susie homemaker, The femininity seemed to get lost during the transition. What makes a women so beautiful is her elegance and mystery. Yes, women are independent and capable of achieving many things but a woman should still be proud enough to carry herself with elegance and class. Is it really necessary trying to out due a man to prove a point? Its like a man competing with us about doing his hair and nails better then we ever could, weird right ? well unfortunately there are straight men that do this and what a turn off that is(unless you like that kind of thing). Of course I'm

Religion vs Human nature

Before I begin this article I would like to begin with a little insight on how I grew up. Religion was a must in my house. I was raised Roman Catholic and a very good one at that. Church every Sunday, confession once a week, every catechism class was never missed and I was an alter server for 6 years. So I can comfortably say I understood the idea of religion even if I did not want to. I always did what I was told and followed the rules. What I did not understand was why it was so important. I remember when I was about 10 years old my friend had invited me to her church, she was Christian and I didn’t know the difference at the time but the word “church” meant a whole hour of boring. I agreed to go anyway and hoped it would go by quick since my church was draining enough.